Beyond Scared Straight

After watching an episode of "Beyond Scared Straight" that was so close to home, (St. Clair County jail in Belleville, IL), I am convinced that there is something wrong when men and women do things that put them in such a sad and dark place. What is within our society that makes one feel that going beyond the norm of human emotion or mental capability is okay? What's missing within our lives that allows us to fulfill the emptiness with more pain? Oftentimes, for a lifetime.


The children that were on the show were probably offspring or relatives of people I already know, since I was born and raised in East St. Louis, IL. As I watched the show, my heart began to melt as tears weld up in my eyes. The anger and rage, the powerlessness...yet, the doors of the jailhouse continue to swing in and out. The bars continue to open and shut. I spent 14 days there. I have yet to go back. 


My heart went out to a young boy named Eddie. Mostly because he was a young brother who is obviously lost. I listened to him at the end of all of the drama he endured, and he still was unsure on whether the "intervention" helped him or not. He wasn't sure whether he could or would stay out of jail. The inmates sure didn't have hope that he would stay out. Perhaps, they've "seen" this little boy once before. Perhaps, in themselves.

As I continued watcheing the show, I began to wonder about his family life. I wondered about the people he surrounded himself with on a day-to-day basis or those who surrounded him. Are there any vigilant prayer warriors in this young man's life who could possibly change his way of thinking or was he doomed to live a life behind bars because of his foolish ways, actions and thoughts? Are there any who stand in a more positive light that he can look to for guidance, or are they behind bars as well? If so, will he take heed or will he continue to follow his unrighteous, unguided path?

I love my people. Especially my brothers. And, I fear for their lives. I cringe at the way they think and the way they've been taught to think. My heart cries out because I long for a better way. I long for a lighted path through the darkest nights, but who will listen to THEIR cries? Who REALLY hears them? If they are rescued, like Cortez, a former St. Clair County inmate in jail for murder, tried to do for little Eddie, will they want to be saved? Eddie didn't seem to want it; others may find a rescue as a weakness, too. He was too caught up in smoking weed and living a life that goes the opposite way from which his pathway may lead.

It is with a heavy heart that I end this blog post. Still filled with questions and wondering why. Still, in my mind...wanting to save the world, one person at a time.